I’ve felt a little off in my mood the last few days and I’ve thought about having a drink a couple of times. I then feel disappointed for wanting to drink. I can’t put my finger on what’s wrong with me.
My parents are here visiting Australia for the first time from the UK. We have been looking forward to this for months. Im so happy to have them here I should be over the moon.
I also shared my blog with my Facebook friends and got some amazing comments and messages which was so motivated I felt like I will never drink again.
I’m wondering if I feel flat after a week of highs?
I’m also off work for 3 weeks and out of my routine, I’m not ashamed to say I love routine. I feel all out of whack. My exercise, my food, my sleep! Everyone keeps saying sit down, relax. I’m like what? I don’t know how? I’m also thinking of the next thing I should be doing. My mind races.
I got up super early this morning as I wanted some time by myself and went for a big walk. I also wanted to benefit from the no hangover after Christmas Day to keep me on track of not drinking. Walking/running is probably the only time I get to really think about stuff, if I go for a walk I always get home with loads of ideas and bore my husband to death with them. Today I listened to a podcast about mindfulness. Lots of us have a perception about mindfulness, yoga loving yippies meditating for hours. It’s actually just being present in any situation. It made me realise I am never present in anything. Even when I do my yoga in the mornings I am thinking that I need to get through it to make sure I get ready on time for work. When my daughter was opening her presents on Christmas Day I was thinking when she’s done this I’ll put the coffee on and breakfast, I’ll have to clean this mess up, where is all this new stuff going to go? When i read with my daughter I’m thinking Urgh I need to make dinner. I am never just there enjoying the moment and being present.
The reason this is relevant is because in all the things I read about quitting drinking being present is something that most mention as a benefit. I’m wondering if that they mean just being there and remembering what happened? Maybe these people are naturals at mindfulness?
I’m going to work on this more, 10 minutes a day.
The podcast helped me have some direction again. It’s made me realise that I have relied on podcasts, books and blogs during this process more that I thought to keep me on track and because I’ve not been in my usual routine I’ve not been reading and listening. I will make sure I make time for it over the next couple of weeks.
On a really positive note, I found decent sparking wine that me and my mum had a Christmas Day. It was called Edenvale from Coles for any Aussie’s out there, sweet but did the job!
I think the quote I keep remembering during this very usually boozy time is that no one regrets not drinking the day after!
Merry Christmas everyone.