Day 1

So I always expected day 1 to be easy. I don’t usually drink on a Monday, Tuesday and usually Wednesday if I have no social plans.

Today I had big expectations, very silly of me really. I didn’t want to drink alcohol but I did think as it was day 1 I would feel positive and everything would be better. Instead I felt very tired from the heavy drinking weekend I had, a little depressed and the thought of he next 3 months seems like climbing Everest.

Yesterday I read an article that was about what to expect when you quit drinking. It said that all your problems won’t be solved over night. Damn, I wanted this to happen. Ridiculous I know, why would anything change over night? I think that I have been building this day up so much that my expectations were high so I just felt flat. Like when you go to the cinema to see that Oscar winning film that you end up coming out of not really understanding it and disappointed!

Anyway the main thing is that I didn’t drink and didn’t want to. I worked, had a bath, ate like a pig because I was tired and it was someone’s birthday at work so I had cake too. Went to bed at 9pm.

I want to feel healthier but after the week I had really there was no chance of that today. Tomorrow is a new day! I am working from home so I will start the day with a run and hope the healthiness follow on from there!!

I downloaded an app. It’s called I stopped drinking. It tells you how many minutes, hours, days, weeks ect that you have not drank for. It also tell you how many calories you have saved and how much money you have not spent on alcohol. It’s great and it will be good to see it build up! I worked out my average drinking out by taking how many bottles of wine I drink regular in a week then added extras for social events and divided by the days of the year. It’s very average as you don’t really know exactly how much you drink. On average I drink 2.5 glasses of wine a day so I have saved 300 calories and $7!! I’m happy with that. Day 1 down, let’s see what day 2 brings!

The weekend before

I mention in my first post that I will stop drinking after a wine tour weekend I have booked with the husband.

What a weekend we have had! So many wines, cheeses, laughs, delicious food and making friends. It’s scared me a little. I keep thinking what if I can’t have this kind of fun without the wine? Why am I quitting again? I love wine what am I thinking? This is all before I’ve even stopped so what is it going to be like when I am having a moment of weakness! The feeling of failure start kicking in again.

I drank so much yesterday I was hoping for the hangover from hell today so I always remember it when I think about drinking again in the future. Not a hangover in site, it’s one of those fluke days when you know you should have one, you deserve one and you wait for it to arrive but nothing! Typical!

So today is officially my last day of drinking. We are going round to our best friends with the wine we bought from the tour and also some yummy cheeses to celebrate the last day of my drinking. I’m not sure if I am doing the right thing celebrating the end of an era as I might associate it with being happy, maybe I need to associate it with unhappy?

In a weird way I’m excited about the next 3 months, focussing on the positives that I will feel from this experience and really hoping I love it so much that it turns into forever!

Day 1 tomorrow. I have drank heavy this week and it’s Monday morning tomorrow so I am expecting to feel low in mood, swollen from the amount of food I have eaten and super tried due to the rubbish alcohol induced sleeps. Let’s see!