I woke up today with a crashing headache, I don’t usually get headaches unless it’s a hangover one. This one I don’t feel like I deserve!
I went out with my friend last night for dinner. It was one of those places that if you go early for dinner then you get 50% off so it was really posh food but normal price with the 50% off 😆. The food was so good!
My friend didn’t drink! She wanted to support me, I was so grateful as it was so sweet of her but I also need to get used to people drinking around me and carrying on as normal. Anyway we had lovely food and chatting non stop for two hours, turns out I don’t need to drink to talk! We usually would have sank two bottle of wine between us easily in the that time. Aside from leaving feeling full of food I felt fresh to jump on the train home and we saved ourselves an extra $70 each by drinking water! What a bonus!
I was still in bed for 10pm feeling smug that I didn’t drink at a meal for the first time in probably 10 plus years! I was excited to wake up feeling all refreshed and I wake up with a headache, tired and grumpy 😡, I have no idea why and I really don’t feel like I deserve it.
I’m on the train on the way to work, one of my co workers has called in sick and I am really trying to be positive. Day 4 here we go.
I am writing about both days as I won’t be able to blog this evening as I will be out – more on that soon.
One of the main reasons for me quitting drinking is to achieve optimal health. I am well known amongst my friends and family for being a health seeker. I love to train in the gym, I’m always looking for new healthy meal ideas and my instagram is basically full of recipes and evidence based practitioners in the health world. I too am currently studying to become a nutritionist.
Of course being a big drinker would often get in the way of my health seeking. I’d be tired Monday, Tuesday from the weekend so wouldn’t train to my full potential, my food intake would be way to high, I wouldn’t be motivated at work therefore I would beat myself up about being rubbish at my job so my mood would be super low, I’d go home and be irritated by my whole family because I’d not slept enough, you get the picture. I’m really hoping this will change.
I spend day 2 focussing on clearing my mind of things I needed to do that have been building up, I went for a run, I ate loads of vegetables and yummy healthy food. I caught up on some study that I have really been slacking with. I felt great about it, it was a good day. I still felt tired from the weekend though, those 3 day hangovers really do still happen, even my run was a slow tired run. I just kept thinking this time next week I will feel so much better as I won’t have touched a drop of alcohol!
Day 3 – if I am honest, work has also been affected but my boozing! Unmotivated Monday’s then running into Tuesday’s and Friday just being about boozy lunches and 3pm drinks! I think I only get 2 really good work days. By some miracle I am still doing really well but I know I can do better. Today I wake up with focus to smash the day ahead. I also have a little fear.
Tonight I am meeting my lovely friend for dinner. We always share a bottle, then another. She know that I am not drinking, I secretly hope she doesn’t too but that’s unlikely, that’s fine as I have to get used to it. We are great friends and chat like there is no tomorrow but I still feel a little anxiety that what if I run out of conversation, what if I can only talk so much because I’ve had wine? I am really trying to fight the silly little voice. I need to find a name for that voice! I will have a think about that.
It’s a beautiful day here in Sydney, spring is really kicking. It’s helping me feel positive, here goes day 3!
So I always expected day 1 to be easy. I don’t usually drink on a Monday, Tuesday and usually Wednesday if I have no social plans.
Today I had big expectations, very silly of me really. I didn’t want to drink alcohol but I did think as it was day 1 I would feel positive and everything would be better. Instead I felt very tired from the heavy drinking weekend I had, a little depressed and the thought of he next 3 months seems like climbing Everest.
Yesterday I read an article that was about what to expect when you quit drinking. It said that all your problems won’t be solved over night. Damn, I wanted this to happen. Ridiculous I know, why would anything change over night? I think that I have been building this day up so much that my expectations were high so I just felt flat. Like when you go to the cinema to see that Oscar winning film that you end up coming out of not really understanding it and disappointed!
Anyway the main thing is that I didn’t drink and didn’t want to. I worked, had a bath, ate like a pig because I was tired and it was someone’s birthday at work so I had cake too. Went to bed at 9pm.
I want to feel healthier but after the week I had really there was no chance of that today. Tomorrow is a new day! I am working from home so I will start the day with a run and hope the healthiness follow on from there!!
I downloaded an app. It’s called I stopped drinking. It tells you how many minutes, hours, days, weeks ect that you have not drank for. It also tell you how many calories you have saved and how much money you have not spent on alcohol. It’s great and it will be good to see it build up! I worked out my average drinking out by taking how many bottles of wine I drink regular in a week then added extras for social events and divided by the days of the year. It’s very average as you don’t really know exactly how much you drink. On average I drink 2.5 glasses of wine a day so I have saved 300 calories and $7!! I’m happy with that. Day 1 down, let’s see what day 2 brings!
I mention in my first post that I will stop drinking after a wine tour weekend I have booked with the husband.
What a weekend we have had! So many wines, cheeses, laughs, delicious food and making friends. It’s scared me a little. I keep thinking what if I can’t have this kind of fun without the wine? Why am I quitting again? I love wine what am I thinking? This is all before I’ve even stopped so what is it going to be like when I am having a moment of weakness! The feeling of failure start kicking in again.
I drank so much yesterday I was hoping for the hangover from hell today so I always remember it when I think about drinking again in the future. Not a hangover in site, it’s one of those fluke days when you know you should have one, you deserve one and you wait for it to arrive but nothing! Typical!
So today is officially my last day of drinking. We are going round to our best friends with the wine we bought from the tour and also some yummy cheeses to celebrate the last day of my drinking. I’m not sure if I am doing the right thing celebrating the end of an era as I might associate it with being happy, maybe I need to associate it with unhappy?
In a weird way I’m excited about the next 3 months, focussing on the positives that I will feel from this experience and really hoping I love it so much that it turns into forever!
Day 1 tomorrow. I have drank heavy this week and it’s Monday morning tomorrow so I am expecting to feel low in mood, swollen from the amount of food I have eaten and super tried due to the rubbish alcohol induced sleeps. Let’s see!